Kids not listening? You’re not the only one!
So, last time we spoke about little ones not being able to hear some of our instructions and how to craft them in a way that works a little better. It’s certainly not a one size fits all, and it won’t work every time but we do our best!
But what about older kids?
My daughter is now 8 and has these times where she really doesn’t listen. At least that’s how it feels!
When this kind of thing happens, I get curious about what’s happening for her. (Often it’s because the TV is on and she’s focussed on that…)
I ask myself:
Are there distractions?
Did I use her name?
Is she tired?
Is she poorly? (she has frequent ear infections and this means she physically cannot hear me)
Is she hungry?
Did she answer me in her head but not outloud? (I’m guilty of this)
Does she know how to respond?
Is she being an imp? 🙂
Being an imp
There are many reasons why I might get ignored by her, as you can see above. But sometimes, (yes, even with my sweet, darling angel) is ignoring me because she doesn’t want to do the thing I ask, or doesn’t want to stop what she’s doing. And yes, that impulse control is still very under developed so she can’t help herself.
Look, it’s normal for you to be frustrated by these things. We have stuff to do! We have an agenda.
Well, so do they. And they never don’t always align. And frustrating as it is, we need to accept that.
This age is tricky!!! They are growing up, have a taste of what real independence is, but really, they are just a little boy or girl and still desperately need their mummas. That’s confusing for us to watch, but imagine what it’s like for them.
What can I do?
If you think you’ve ruled out any physical problems like food, water, sleep, illness. Then go back to simple instructions, as we discussed before.
Set a fair, firm boundary and stick to it.
And watch them rebel.
And take a deep breath knowing the reason you set that boundary.
Knowing that you are doing this for the long term benefits, not for what is easy in this moment.
And if you aren’t sure of the reason you set that boundary – ask yourself if it really needs to be in place. Sometimes they ‘don’t listen’ because they crave a little more control over their lives.
So, kids not listening? Try some of the above and let me know how it goes!
Thanks for reading! Did any of this resonate for you? Let me know below! Or for a chat with me click here and you can always join the discussion on my Facebook page